4. Public Transport (You're Better off Walking)
Public transport in Dublin is badly organised, expensive and difficult to figure out. Everything's always late and the timetables are almost always ripped off or graffitied beyond recognition for Dublin bus. If you try and get the Luas there will always be some drunk man with gloves trying to press all the buttons for you while nagging you for your last two quid.
In the winter the heat never works on the bus and in the Summer it's always ridiculously stuffy. If you have the balls to step onto a bus and ask how much it is to a certain location the bus driver's eyes will pierce your soul as if you've just raped his goldfish. As a citizen of Dublin you are expected to get onto a bus and say 2.50 and throw it in the little gray money muncher. This often confuses me as I don't use the bus enough to know how much anything is. This makes it awkward as I stand, counting my change with a queue of impatient South-siders behind me.
Basically Dublin Bus and the Luas have something in common, they're both shit and full of dick-head junkos which brings me to the next item on the list...
3. Scumbags, Nack-Attacks, Junkos (Can I has a Euros?)
Basically you can't sit outside a cafe having a coffee and a smoke without some mad looking man covered in bruises telling you some made up life story. I was enjoying a cuppa with some friends when a battered looking man approached us asking us if we had a minute to spare. I immediately just ignored him as honestly, as cunt-worthy as it sounds I don't want to give random people any of my money. I just don't give a shit, everyone has there problems and I don't want to hear it. He went on to tell us about how he was recently "jailed for a fight I didn't bleedin' start".
In fact, my friend Mark is sitting next to me know with a black, now yellowish eye due to a mugging incident. My friend Dani now has bruised rips and a chipped tooth as they were stopped by some moron nack-attacks on the street. Not cool Dublin, not cool.
It's also incredibly annoying having some toothless fat woman in a tracksuit begging me to grab her a sliced pan in the shop. Just because she's been barred for trying to nick a can of Karpackie in her knickers.
2. Expensive Living (What do you Mean Six Quid for a Pint)
Dublin is expensive. It is so very, very expensive. In our house we've had couch surfers from Finland, London, Germany and Canada. One thing they've all mentioned is how ridiculously expensive this country is. My flatmates and I felt the effect on our return from Berlin where everything from tobacco, booze to food and public transport was about half, or less even than you will be forced to pay in this city. Rent isn't cheap either if you want to live somewhere that you won't be stabbed. It sucks being on the dole in a city like this. You'll scrape by but you can't really live comfortably unless you have a decent paying job. Which there aren't very many of in this pint sized town.
1. The Alternative Music Scene (or lack of)
This one's a shortie. Essentially if you want to go to a alternative bar in Dublin you have two or three alternatives. In comparison to other cities where you could say: "Monday I wanna mosh to some rock music, Wednesday I wanna stomp to some Dubstep and if I fancy it on Friday I'll do some ridiculous hardcore dance at some stupid gig" and you can. Here it's like ok I can go to Twisted Pepper or I could go to Fibbers if it isn't ten euro in. It sucks big time.
I'm in a very bad mood today so I'm sure this post is considerably more aggressive than any other one's I've written. I promise a very happy Five Things I Love About Living in Dublin. Fuck it, I'm gonna watch movies and have toast for dinner.